MADDIE LOWE

About ... Or Bust

Ever since I was young, my family has been on the move. My father was in the army, so we never stayed anywhere for long. The longest I lived in one house was for four years, but that was not until high school. Before that, we moved from city to city, state to state, country to country, constantly uprooting our lives.

​

In advance of every move my mother would have my siblings and me hold up a sign that read “______ . . . or bust.” The pictures announcing our relocations defined my childhood, and I never felt at home. The second a place started to feel familiar, then the boxes would come out—along with the sign—and away we would go. The only thing familiar was unfamiliarity, the constant cycle of packing, moving, and unpacking. I learned not to let myself become connected to a place I knew I could never call home.

​

In this series of self-portraits, I explore the psychological impact these dislocations had on me as a child. Depicting drastically different environments, the photographs represent the countless waypoints my family has passed through during my life. The only constant is me, always at the center of the image, as the local scenery comes and goes. Unmoored from my surroundings, I reside in my box, giving myself only tentative permission to climb out. Desensitized to upheaval and dislocation, I continue my search for a place to call home.